It’s funny how quickly you can get used to things. Specifically, it’s hard to remember a time when I didn’t end up talking about sex at pretty much every single social gathering I’m invited to. I try to keep it short, and I certainly tailor my answers to the occasion (like, I won’t be telling my story to anyone’s elderly relatives unless I’m invited) but I’m relieved that most people have been surprisingly open-minded so far. Other than the immediate questions people ask trying to figure out exactly what kind of films I’m making and why, I find that those people — or their friends — often drift over to me later with their second glass of wine in hand in order to ask a follow-up question or two.

So here’s the Top Five list of most common cocktail party statements made to me over the second drink:

1. “Maybe I should be in a film of yours.” Though I’m often tempted to take this seriously especially when the person is really cute and nice — I never, ever believe this the first time (or even the second or third time) that someone says it. Everyone should have a chance to enjoy thinking about it without the pressure of following through.

2. “Can I be a fluffer?” Note: Only ever spoken by straight men, with a wink and a smile. wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluffer

3. “I’d like to be in a film, but I’m not good-looking enough, am I?” Sweetly, this always turns out to be an anxious coded question about penis size or breast size. It’s so funny how even very attractive people are secretly worried about these things. Fortunately I can answer with conviction that none of those things matter to me as long as someone feels sexy and has chemistry with the other person on camera. Not that it matters; these folks usually don’t really want to be in a film, they just want some reassurance that they don’t have to be porn-perfect to be sexy in real life.

4. “Do your parents know?” Yes. My entire family knows and they’re pretty awesome about it.

5. “Can I tell you something I would love to see in a film someday” Though I imagine this would get icky if the men and women who said this were terribly self-involved or purposely trying to take advantage of my openness in some sort of freaky power game, I actually have rather enjoyed hearing people’s ideas. I’m learning stuff about sex all the time. Lay it on me.